You Have Spinach in Your Teeth #864
[Please feel free to print this off and leave it on a deserving someone’s desk]1
Dear “Devil’s Advocate”,
I mean this in the kindest possible way, but please f*** off.
Maybe nobody’s told you, or maybe you do know or don’t care, which is what most people will assume. That behaviour is neither helpful, kind, or often even true. Most generously, it’s just annoying.
Yes, there is and should be room on every team, every project, every effort for reflection and criticism. For risk management, for finding a better way, for learning, for improvement. There is room for that on teams that have high levels of trust and competency.
Devil’s advocacy feels like sabotage. It feels like ego. It doesn’t make anyone look smarter, it makes them look like an ***hole. It’s the opposite of building trust. If that’s your intent, then go for it. But you’re probably a good person, so maybe don’t.
Otherwise, maybe find a different way. A way that is helpful, kind or true. At least two. Ideally all three.
If you have nothing to contribute, that’s okay too. One doesn’t always have to contribute something original and inspiring to every conversation. Maybe try supporting a point of view that you do agree with (“I like Cindy’s idea, I think we should go with that.”)
And if you every hear yourself uttering the phrase “I hate to be the devil’s advocate…”, stop and think about what you’re adding to the conversation. Especially if it’s the only thing you ever add.
- Sometimes we get spinach stuck in our teeth. Our friends tell us, even if it’s awkward in the moment. It’s an act of kindness. ↩︎
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