Tag Archives: conflict

Will You Be Successful?

There’s a little game I play with myself when I have a new client. I try to guess if a client is going to have a successful engagement with me or not. I can usually tell after the first week (I see my clients once a week, kind of like a leadership therapist.)

The first sign is if they do they things they say they’re going to do. Did they do the reading, complete the survey, do their homework despite the business of their day-to-day in the business challenges.

The second sign is how they deal with it when somebody doesn’t deliver. Do they confront the performance issue (no matter how trivial it might seem), or do they talk around it?

When leaders are willing to confront uncomfortable situations. False harmony suffocates execution. Healthy, passionate conflict brings clarity, fees engagement, drives momentum.

Do you avoid facing certain conversations because they’re personally uncomfortable, or do you face what needs to be faced even at the risk of being wrong. Is it safe to tell you bad news? Can you handle the truth? Are you willing to be wrong and know about it quickly?

Leaders Are Always Communicating

Even when you’re not writing or talking, you’re still communicating. You’re communicating even when you’re not on the job. I learned this early in my military career when I spent the evening celebrating a recent promotion. The privates at the unit knew all about it the next morning. I was celebrating a little enthusiastically, so to speak.

Everything we say or don’t say is a message. Everything we do or don’t is a message. Every situation you notice or don’t is noticed in turn. What’s your message been lately?

Why Managers Get Fired

I’ve had a funny month. One of my clients has demoted one of their managers and fired another. A second customer is considering buying out a minor shareholder who’s also a manager.

All of these managers are not  able to do their jobs as it relates to managing other people or themselves. It all seems to relate back to feedback, influence, and communication. I’ll give one example.

When Managers Don’t Manage

One of my construction clients had an excavator operator who screwed up and caused unnecessary damage at a work site. It was bad enough that the operator was going to b e suspended.

His manager didn’t know how, or didn’t feel confident enough, to do the suspension himself. He asked the general manager to do it for him.

At this point I’ve got a couple of questions. Like how come we’re discussing the fairly straight-forward suspension of an operator at the executive level? Or why a manager in a leadership position is unable to confront poor performance? Or how somebody got hired into a manager role, claiming to have exactly this kind of experience?

 After they started digging (pun intended) into the manager’s performance and work history they found other issues. They decided that if that general manager has to do his job for him, then why pay the guy? Ultimately they decided to let that manager go.

Which means that the general manager is now (still) the bottleneck for operations. He has to spend time finding a replacement, run operations in the meantime, while juggling that with his “real” job of building relationships with existing customers and finding new ones in a new operation in a new city.

How well do you think he’s going to do at hiring a good operations manager with all that on his plate? Oh, yea, he’s also short an operator while the original problem child is on suspension.

Get Good At Giving Feedback

So what? Well, if you’re in a “manager”, making your “general manager’s” job easier means handling things at the lowest level possible. If you’re not comfortable at giving specific, fact-based feedback and applying the appropriate consequences, then start now.

Yes, you’re going to suck at it and be really uncomfortable with it at first, especially if you haven’t done it before, had a good example of how to do it, or had training. Too bad. All those excuses have a solution, but none of them should hold you back from starting now. Everything is practice until it isn’t. So start practising.

If you’re the “general manager”, then stop hiring for just experience and knowledge. Look for the ability to develop, coach, and mentor team members. Look for the ability to create teams. For the experience admitting mistakes, fostering trust, taking responsibility, and being comfortable with conflict.

Question for the Comments:
Try giving positive feedback every day for a week, and noticing what impact it has.

Other articles you may find interesting:
Why Delegating Work to Your Staff Is Good For Them
You Need To Get Good At This To Be A Good Leader
How to Give Positive Feedback

Bernie works as a leadership and business coach, consultant, and facilitator. He believes there are simple things outstanding leaders do well, and that not to do anything about bad leadership once you know about it is abuse. Check out what he does with RESULTS.com

 

Learn to Deal With Conflict

. . . and other things you need to learn to develop your leadership cojones

Focus on Behaviour, Not Conflict Management

This article gives counsel about conflict on teams to the theme of “why can’t we just all get along?”

I think it’s the wrong approach. It puts the manager in the unpleasant and untenable position of being the counsellor, facilitator, and negotiator. From my experience I have found that role frustrating, futile, and not the best use of my time.

Try this instead:

  • Don’t play the “he said, she said” game. You can spend your entire professional life tracking down who said what to whom, and it won’t get you any closer to being effective, efficient, or delivering what you’re responsible for, and your professional career will be much shorter. Focus on behaviour, give feedback appropriate to the behaviour you observed.
  • Healthy conflict is healthy, but once a decision is made kill all other ideas. Yes, maybe it was the wrong decision, and maybe you’ll have to go back and re-evaluate your options. Until then anything else but full commitment to executing the agreed plan is whining at best and sabotage at worst.
  • Own the inputs. If you’re responsible for the deliverables, you’re responsible for the inputs you need to make the deliverables. If Paul in finance didn’t give you the numbers you need for Friday’s report, it’s not Paul’s fault. It’s yours. You wouldn’t go to your boss with that lame excuse. Why would you accept it from your staff?