The Four F’s of Feedback

Fast, Friendly, Frequent, Focused

Giving feedback sucks. For whatever reason many managers aren’t good at it. I won’t list all the reasons I’ve heard , but I’m sure you can think back to some of your own, perhaps from bitter experience.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

It doesn’t have to be torturous, drown-out, or dramatic. My clients who give fast, friendly, frequent, and focused feedback to their staff  have found it doesn’t take very long to see huge changes in performance, both individually and at the team level.

Fast

10 seconds is all you need to give feedback. Longer that that you’re not getting to the point. Think about what you want to say, then say it. End of story. Don’t make a big deal about it. Giving feedback should be as natural as breathing for a leader. Treat it that way.

Friendly

Giving somebody feedback is an act of love. You’re trying to help them get better. Helping people do better is part of your job. It’s not the end of the world. If the person you’re giving feedback to treats it that way, it’s their choice, and that’s a different conversation.

Keep it friendly, keep it relaxed, keep it informal. Remember also that while positive feedback isn’t as powerful a kick in the pants as constructive feedback, it’s more likely to result in the behaviour you want. You just have to give it more often. Catch them doing something right.

Frequent

My wife was driving back from giving a presentation in small-town Saskatchewan once. It was late, it had been a long day, and she was tired. She fell asleep in one town and woke up in another 50 kilometers later when the smell of farmers burning their fields got her attention. Good thing the highways in Saskatchewan are so straight.

Usually when we’re driving we are continuously making small corrections using the steering wheel, instead of waiting just before we hit the ditch to yank on the wheel to get us back on course. Feedback is the same thing.

Start by giving feedback once a day. You’ll quickly see what difference it makes, and you’ll want to do it more often.

Focused

By focused I mean specific and actionable. Tell them what you want them to do, what behaviour you want them to change (or keep doing), or what physical, tangible action they need to take in order to improve for next time. Feedback is useless if the target of your feedback doesn’t know what to do with it.

How to Use 360 Assessments

Working with a client last week on building trust in their company, on of the suggestions was to do 360 assessments on the executive.

No. Just. No.

Trust is build over time  through relationships. Preferably face-to-face.

360s are a development tool. They only (in my experience) work in high-trust environments. Do not use them to determine raises or anything else to do with an employee’s addiction to food, clothing, and shelter.

Otherwise you get this: 10 Ways to Sabotage a 360 Assessment

If you are going to use them,

  • be clear about their purpose (development), and get professional advice for implementing them. They are expensive (in terms of time and treasure), so target them at the right people.
  • do not use them to target people you need a reason to fire. If you need to fire somebody, fire them for the right reasons. Don’t make up excuses, diminish trust, or fail to have the constructive / courageous conversations you need to.
  • do not tie them to raises, promotions, or punishment. It reduces trust, increases the probability of people gaming the system, and makes them useless as far as personal development is  concerned. Base rewards and recognition on results, and individual’s contribution to the organization, and performance. 360s are a way to increase those factors, not punish a lack of them.
  • do not use them in low trust environments.

Having Couragous Conversations

Confronting somebody at work about a missed deadline, unacceptable behaviour, a poor quality deliverable can sometimes feel like looking over the edge of a tall cliff. When was the last time you had a courageous conversation at work? Said something to somebody that needed to be said, but had held back for whatever reason?

If you done have regular “courageous conversations” in your role as a leader, then you’re not doing your job. Either that, or you work in the perfect office. More likely the former.

If you’re just starting as a manager / leader, or you’re looking for tips on having the courageous conversation, keep these points in mind:

  • Stay calm
    Nothing spreads faster than fear, uncertainty, and doubt (the “FUD Factor”). You can speak the truth. You don’t have to shout it. Be a demanding boss without being aggressive or insensitive.
    Also, nothing controls you like your emotions. Allowing others to push your buttons is like handing them the remote control to your brain. If you’re the boss, stay in control. You can’t control others if you can’t control yourself.
  • Focus on Behaviour
    Focus on the things you can see, hear, and touch. Not your feelings. Focus on body language, tone of voice, facial expression, work product, words used, observable facts. Not on attitude, drama, or assumptions.
  • It’s Their Problem
    Bosses are often problem solvers. That’s how you got promoted. Fair enough, but – you can’t solve everybody else’s problems. Let them figure out how to fix what they broke, how to change their behaviour, or how to deliver on time what you need.
    Besides, how are you going to get promoted if there’s nobody to take your place?
  • Follow Through
    This one goes to credibility. Do what you say you’re going to do. Or don’t say it. If you don’t understand why then do something else besides management and leadership.
  • Listen, and Practice
    The first time you give feedback to a subordinate you’re going to suck at it. Don’t worry, it gets better with practice. The greater sin is not coaching, mentoring, and developing your people. Never stop looking for and training your replacement. It’s one of those simple things that outstanding manager do well.

And remember that true leaders run towards a problem, not away from it.

What Does Your Reality Look Like?

“You can ask me for anything you like, except time.” – Napoleon

I was having a beer with a former Scout of mine last night at a local brew pub. He works as a pyro-technician full-time and he’s been running his own little business for the last ten years. As a kid he was fascinated with fire, and had set up a forge in his backyard when he was sixteen so that he could make swords. You can imagine what his mother had to say about that.

Currently he owns and runs his own storefront selling swords, armour, and chain-mail to the medieval re-creationist market. His store, Dark Age Creations, is doing  well and he’s plowing all the profits back into the business.

Turns out he’s a good salesman and understands how to make money. He has no problem calling others when they don’t do what they said they were going to do, and he surrounds himself with people who support what he’s doing. In five years he wants to sit back and collect dividend cheques while the store runs itself. Not a bad plan really. Better than many I’ve heard.

Pay Attention to the Numbers

Problem is he needs an accountant, but he hasn’t done anything about it. He doesn’t even know what his tax liability is going to be at the end of the year! I pointed out the irony (between holding others accountable and not himself), gave him a figurative smack upside his head, and told him to get straightened out now.  It was like being back in the days when he wasn’t taller than me.

He’s been lucky so far, but no business can base its success on the hope of an unbroken string of charm and good luck. Even when we’re doing what we love and living our passion the tax-man and the landlord are always ready to step in when they think they’re not going to get theirs. It only takes one “bad quarter” to put you out of business.

Sense of Urgency

So I told him the story of one of my former clients that allowed their CFO six months to report on the year-end. They were unable or unwilling to do what was necessary to get things moving. When the year-end was finally ready, they had lost half a million dollars on the year – on $15M of revenue. Not something that a company that size can easily swallow.

It was a big lesson for me – all the vision, people and customer focus in the world is useless if you’re not on top of the cash. Yes, you need a higher purpose – other than just making money -  to inspire and motivate. One that engages your clients, employees, and shareholders. All the enduring, profitable companies have one. That’s not going to make you feel better when you’re emptying your desk because your company’s gone bust.

Face Reality Quickly and Constantly

I lost that client, but I learned a valuable lesson that day. Face reality, and face it quickly. Business has enough uncertainty and risk without ignoring what is right in front of us. We can’t control everything, but we’d better be paying attention to what we can control.

Put another way, as I said it to him: “Pay attention to the freaking numbers. Don’t be those other guys who didn’t know they’d lost half a million dollars.”

Relentlessly face race reality. Be skeptical. Don’t take hand-waving or indefinite answers. Have the difficult conversations when you need to, and while you’re holding others accountable, hold yourself accountable too.

Stop Risking Your Company on Good Ideas

When I took my Scouts out on camps, there was always a higher purpose. There were the big ones, of course. Like the 9-day jamboree, the 4-day mountain hike, or the 5-day canoe trip. But not every trip was the trip of a lifetime. In fact, I’ve left kids behind because they weren’t ready for it.

How did I know if they weren’t ready?

Build the Right Skills, Tools, and Experience

Firstly, we’d always had a series of smaller camps throughout the entire year to learn, practice, and try-out the skills and tools they’d need. For example, for our five-day canoe trip, we’d start in a local pool, where everybody had to practice recovering from a tipped canoe. Then we moved on to still water, where they learned basic strokes, working together as a team, and controlling the canoe on water.

Then we’d have them move in and out of a real river – which is probably the riskiest part of river canoeing. Along the way they learned hand-signals, whistle signals, how to throw a rescue line, and other river skills.

Us leaders took an extra level of training, actually practicing the skills of rescuing somebody from the river. We all got a chance to put on a wet suit and be rescued, which was both fun and scary. During the trip we had the Scouts throw us lines in the river while we floated by, and they had so much fun they got into the river too.

We didn’t’ just put the kids in a canoe, with a paddle, and said “see you later, we’ll pick you up in five days.” That’s not leadership, and that’s no way to learn leadership. We planned for the best, made ready for the worst, and had a great time. Along the way I’ve used at least two fire extinguishers, one throw-line, and many, many band-aids in earnest. But we never lost a kids or any of their parts.

Build the Right Team

The second thing we did besides training and planning was evaluating. We wanted to see which kids were ready, which were ready to take on even more, and which ones either weren’t taking it seriously or weren’t mentally or emotionally mature enough to be safe in the wilderness. I’ve learned and truly believe that adding or taking away just one person from any team changes the team in unpredictable, non-linear ways. As adults we’re just better at hiding it.

Which is why it amazes me when companies have a good idea, put so much effort into executing it, and then wonder why it failed. They didn’t try things out to see if their good idea would work before putting all their effort and energy behind it.

They didn’t build up skills and experience needed to give it the best chance of success. They didn’t explain and get buy-in from everybody involved about what it would mean to the company. They didn’t build and test the right team. They just put a bunch of people in canoes with paddles and life-jackets, pushed them into the river, and watched them aimlessly float away.

Even worse is when everybody in the company gets into the same boat and drowns. I hope you remembered to hand out the life-jackets.

Be Skeptical of Good Ideas

Try new things in small doses. Don’t stop having good ideas. Just be skeptical of good ideas – try them in small ways first. Build up your capabilities and give your team or company the best chance of success.

The Best Way to Learn “Leadership”

I’m reading General Hillier’s auto-biography, and I tripped across a little gem buried in the middle of the book: if you want to learn about leadership, put down the leadership books. Instead, read biographies of leaders.

Nothing substitutes for a good mentor and first-hand experience of course. Reading books written about leadership as a scholastic topic should be at the botton of your “sharpening the saw” list. Reading books about first-hand accounts of leadership (good and bad) should be at the top.

. . . and if you want to buy General Hillier’s biography from Amazon, just click the link. A Soldier First: Bullets, Bureaucrats and the Politics of War. It’s well worth the read. Especially if you think you work in a complex, international context.

How Your Body Language Is Hurting You

Imagine the following unfolding in a boardroom: the CEO is holding his head in his hands, both palms covering his entire face. The person reporting to him is leaning back in his chair, ankle on knee, hands behind his back. The subordinate seems to be totally oblivious to the CEO. Even without hearing the words being spoken, what conclusions can you draw from this scenario?

My perception of the message was: “To hell with all of you. I didn’t meet the commitments I made. I don’t care, and there’s nothing you’re going to do about it.” Without intending to, and totally undermining his own credibility and long-standing relationships.

Was this his intended message? Probably not. He works in a high-stress, highly volatile, deadline driven world. He’s good at what he does. I assume he wants to see the company succeed and grow. So why the subtle but loud message that contradicts this?

Bottom Line:

1. Watch your own body language. Especially when you’re under the gun.

2. You get paid for results, not effort. When reporting, give the results first and the story second.

When you’re reporting to your boss, you’ve either delivered what you promised, or you haven’t. If you haven’t and you start be describing all the effort (not the result) you’re not fooling anybody. If you have and you start with the story, you’re giving the (false) impression that you’re making excuses.

Further Reading:

Body Language Basics for Dates and Job Interviews

How Science Can Teach You to Spot a Liar

How To Build Relationships Without Talking

 

Changes, Calendars, and You

Managing changes to your calendar

You have control of your calendar. You’re being realistic and deliberately not filling in completely. You have some slack in your schedule to deal with the expected unexpected, and for the little chores of everyday work life. You’re spending time on the things you need to.

But wait! Somebody wants to schedule a  meeting at a conflicting time!

Here’s a practical rule I’m going to share with you. One that made a huge difference in my life and allowed me to take control of how I spend my time. This is big. Are you ready?

You don’t have to accept every meeting request.

Let me say this again so it’s clear: just because you get invited, doesn’t mean you have to go. You don’t have to say yes to everything. You don’t have to do everything. Part of being a professional is deciding what you’re not going to do.

You have the right of first refusal. Even with your boss on occasion. That is, you get to decide what goes into your calendar, and where it goes. If somebody else wants to schedule something on top of an existing commitment you have the right to propose an alternate time. Or to say no.

Being clear on your work priorities, which relationships you’re trying to build, and, and what’s important to your higher-ups will help you decide if any specific meeting is worth your time. Understanding what the intention of the meeting and your role in it will also help you decide. This is where agendas come in handy.

Now the exception that proves the rule: except when it’s your boss. It’s certainly appropriate to propose an alternate time to a meeting request from your direct supervisor or manager most of the time. It’s not appropriate to say no to them. That’s what makes them the boss. Besides, do you really want to say no to the person that controls your addiction to food, clothing, and shelter?

You have three choices when accepting a meeting request. You can accept the meeting and re-schedule any of your conflicting ones if it’s appropriate. You can propose an alternate time with the appropriate sense of urgency. Or you can decline the invitation in a professional way.

By appropriate sense of urgency I mean that if you can’t make that really important meeting at 2:00 o’clock today then don’t propose an alternate time two weeks from now. If the proposed meeting is tentatively scheduled for two weeks from now, proposing a time tomorrow or two months from now isn’t being very helpful. Try to stay in the same scope of time if you can.

And no, accepting the meeting and then not showing up is not professional. Accepting three meetings at the same time and deciding at the last minute which one to go to isn’t professional either. If you’re going to be  professional, then you’re going to have to learn to say “no” to the things you’re not going to do. “I’m sorry, I don’t see how I can fit that into my schedule.” is good enough. The more you say it, the better you’ll get at it.

And if that’s a phrase you’ve been hearing from your higher-ups, you might want to consider how what you’re trying to do lines up with their priorities. They’re sending you a subtle message that it isn’t really all that subtle.

p.s. Click the following link to learn to turn off Outlook’s “automatically accept all meeting requests”

“Outliers: The Story of Success”, Or How Be Steve Jobs

Be smart, be lucky, work hard.

Pick two? No, have all three. Excel at one. That’s the “secret” of success.

What makes a fantastically successful, world-changing game-changer like Steve Jobs (or pick your own extraordinarily successful figure from history or current events.) According to Malcolm Gladwell, those extraordinary people in business, sports, and history are products of circumstance, intelligence, and drive. In other words if not Steve Jobs, then somebody very much like Steve Jobs would have appeared on the world stage and had just as much influence in the technology / business / design realm.

What’s not amazing is that Steve had such an influence on the world. What’s amazing is that lacking the opportunity and culture, so much of the human capital in the world lies untapped. The real question should be, why aren’t there more Steves?

In his engaging style, Malcolm takes us through a series of stories that illustrate how opportunity and hard-work combined allow “outliers”, those who have an exceptional impact in their chosen profession outside the experience of most mortals, to spring into being. He begins by pointing out how most National Hockey League players are born in January, and explaining why this is significant.

The biggest surprise for me in reading this book is how little intelligence plays a role in success. More precisely, how there is no direct correlation between IQ and success. Yes, you have to be smart, but beyond a certain point being smarter does not make you more successful. Hard work, focused practice of your chosen craft, and the luck or opportunity to use those skills have a greater influence.

This is good news for those of us who do work hard, learn, and apply that learning every day. Now I just have to get lucky. Excuse me while I go review my contact list for relationships that I’ve taken for granted.

If you want to buy this book from Amazon click this link

Your Calendar Is Full. Congratulations, You’re Doing It Wrong

Congratulations. You block out your time in your journal, calendar, or diary. Then you work on those priorities during that time to get things done. You’re now much more effective at accomplishing the most important things during your week.

But . . . and this is a big but . . . that’s not how life really works. Stuff happens, issue arise, your boss assigns unexpected work, employees interrupt with their emergencies, children break their collar bones on the playground during recess, opportunities come along that need your attention. How do you plan for interruptions without throwing all your careful coordination out of wack?

You don’t want to spend all your time re-arranging your calendar. That’s not the most effective use of your time. Or worse, making the effort to organize yourself and then abandoning those efforts the first time something unplanned for comes along.

What Aren’t You Going To Do?

So don’t fill your calendar.

This may sound counter-intuitive. Shouldn’t your calendar be full of all the things you’re going to do? Are you so far behind that the only way you’ll ever catch up is to never die?

Trying to fit more hours in the day, or believing that you’ll be more effective by just working harder is a false hope. You’ll be more effective, less stressed, and more responsive if you understand and accept that you’re not going to get it all done.

Now you have the simple (and sometime difficult) but critical decisions to make. What are you not going to do? What are you going to say no to? What are the most important, valuable, and effective ways to spent you time?

The fact is you can’t manage time. You can’t manage 5 minutes and turn into 10 minutes. You can manage your attention and focus. What are the most important things really?

Spending some time thinking about this is an effective use of your time.

The 75% Rule

Now plan your time, but only three-quarters of it. Leave space in your day, week, and month with nothing in it. This is the time you’re going to use to deal with interruptions, rescheduled meetings, emergencies, and opportunities. This “slack” time will get filled up, and lets you be responsive. It makes you more effective.

Things that should be in your calendar:

  • your obligations to your boss (remember – she controls your addiction to food, clothing, and shelter)
  • developing your people (they’re the ones doing the work),
  • helping out others (and building relationships),
  • down time for you (you’re fooling yourself if you think lack of sleep or cancelling vacations make you more effective.)