Category Archives: communications

The Four F’s of Feedback

Posted on December 5, 2011 | 1 Comment

Fast, Friendly, Frequent, Focused

Giving feedback sucks. For whatever reason many managers aren’t good at it. I won’t list all the reasons I’ve heard , but I’m sure you can think back to some of your own, perhaps from bitter experience.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

It doesn’t have to be torturous, drown-out, or dramatic. My clients who give fast, friendly, frequent, and focused feedback to their staff  have found it doesn’t take very long to see huge changes in performance, both individually and at the team level.

Fast

10 seconds is all you need to give feedback. Longer that that you’re not getting to the point. Think about what you want to say, then say it. End of story. Don’t make a big deal about it. Giving feedback should be as natural as breathing for a leader. Treat it that way.

Friendly

Giving somebody feedback is an act of love. You’re trying to help them get better. Helping people do better is part of your job. It’s not the end of the world. If the person you’re giving feedback to treats it that way, it’s their choice, and that’s a different conversation.

Keep it friendly, keep it relaxed, keep it informal. Remember also that while positive feedback isn’t as powerful a kick in the pants as constructive feedback, it’s more likely to result in the behaviour you want. You just have to give it more often. Catch them doing something right.

Frequent

My wife was driving back from giving a presentation in small-town Saskatchewan once. It was late, it had been a long day, and she was tired. She fell asleep in one town and woke up in another 50 kilometers later when the smell of farmers burning their fields got her attention. Good thing the highways in Saskatchewan are so straight.

Usually when we’re driving we are continuously making small corrections using the steering wheel, instead of waiting just before we hit the ditch to yank on the wheel to get us back on course. Feedback is the same thing.

Start by giving feedback once a day. You’ll quickly see what difference it makes, and you’ll want to do it more often.

Focused

By focused I mean specific and actionable. Tell them what you want them to do, what behaviour you want them to change (or keep doing), or what physical, tangible action they need to take in order to improve for next time. Feedback is useless if the target of your feedback doesn’t know what to do with it.

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Posted in behaviour, change, coaching, communications, feedback, focus

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Having Couragous Conversations

Posted on November 21, 2011 | 1 Comment

Confronting somebody at work about a missed deadline, unacceptable behaviour, a poor quality deliverable can sometimes feel like looking over the edge of a tall cliff. When was the last time you had a courageous conversation at work? Said something to somebody that needed to be said, but had held back for whatever reason?

If you done have regular “courageous conversations” in your role as a leader, then you’re not doing your job. Either that, or you work in the perfect office. More likely the former.

If you’re just starting as a manager / leader, or you’re looking for tips on having the courageous conversation, keep these points in mind:

  • Stay calm
    Nothing spreads faster than fear, uncertainty, and doubt (the “FUD Factor”). You can speak the truth. You don’t have to shout it. Be a demanding boss without being aggressive or insensitive.
    Also, nothing controls you like your emotions. Allowing others to push your buttons is like handing them the remote control to your brain. If you’re the boss, stay in control. You can’t control others if you can’t control yourself.
  • Focus on Behaviour
    Focus on the things you can see, hear, and touch. Not your feelings. Focus on body language, tone of voice, facial expression, work product, words used, observable facts. Not on attitude, drama, or assumptions.
  • It’s Their Problem
    Bosses are often problem solvers. That’s how you got promoted. Fair enough, but – you can’t solve everybody else’s problems. Let them figure out how to fix what they broke, how to change their behaviour, or how to deliver on time what you need.
    Besides, how are you going to get promoted if there’s nobody to take your place?
  • Follow Through
    This one goes to credibility. Do what you say you’re going to do. Or don’t say it. If you don’t understand why then do something else besides management and leadership.
  • Listen, and Practice
    The first time you give feedback to a subordinate you’re going to suck at it. Don’t worry, it gets better with practice. The greater sin is not coaching, mentoring, and developing your people. Never stop looking for and training your replacement. It’s one of those simple things that outstanding manager do well.

And remember that true leaders run towards a problem, not away from it.

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Posted in behaviour, body language, coaching, communications, conflict, conflict management, developing staff, engagement, execution, influencing

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What Does Your Reality Look Like?

Posted on November 14, 2011 | Leave a comment

“You can ask me for anything you like, except time.” – Napoleon

I was having a beer with a former Scout of mine last night at a local brew pub. He works as a pyro-technician full-time and he’s been running his own little business for the last ten years. As a kid he was fascinated with fire, and had set up a forge in his backyard when he was sixteen so that he could make swords. You can imagine what his mother had to say about that.

Currently he owns and runs his own storefront selling swords, armour, and chain-mail to the medieval re-creationist market. His store, Dark Age Creations, is doing  well and he’s plowing all the profits back into the business.

Turns out he’s a good salesman and understands how to make money. He has no problem calling others when they don’t do what they said they were going to do, and he surrounds himself with people who support what he’s doing. In five years he wants to sit back and collect dividend cheques while the store runs itself. Not a bad plan really. Better than many I’ve heard.

Pay Attention to the Numbers

Problem is he needs an accountant, but he hasn’t done anything about it. He doesn’t even know what his tax liability is going to be at the end of the year! I pointed out the irony (between holding others accountable and not himself), gave him a figurative smack upside his head, and told him to get straightened out now.  It was like being back in the days when he wasn’t taller than me.

He’s been lucky so far, but no business can base its success on the hope of an unbroken string of charm and good luck. Even when we’re doing what we love and living our passion the tax-man and the landlord are always ready to step in when they think they’re not going to get theirs. It only takes one “bad quarter” to put you out of business.

Sense of Urgency

So I told him the story of one of my former clients that allowed their CFO six months to report on the year-end. They were unable or unwilling to do what was necessary to get things moving. When the year-end was finally ready, they had lost half a million dollars on the year – on $15M of revenue. Not something that a company that size can easily swallow.

It was a big lesson for me – all the vision, people and customer focus in the world is useless if you’re not on top of the cash. Yes, you need a higher purpose – other than just making money -  to inspire and motivate. One that engages your clients, employees, and shareholders. All the enduring, profitable companies have one. That’s not going to make you feel better when you’re emptying your desk because your company’s gone bust.

Face Reality Quickly and Constantly

I lost that client, but I learned a valuable lesson that day. Face reality, and face it quickly. Business has enough uncertainty and risk without ignoring what is right in front of us. We can’t control everything, but we’d better be paying attention to what we can control.

Put another way, as I said it to him: “Pay attention to the freaking numbers. Don’t be those other guys who didn’t know they’d lost half a million dollars.”

Relentlessly face race reality. Be skeptical. Don’t take hand-waving or indefinite answers. Have the difficult conversations when you need to, and while you’re holding others accountable, hold yourself accountable too.

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Posted in communications, delegation, engagement, mentoring, relationships, values

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How Your Body Language Is Hurting You

Posted on October 24, 2011 | Leave a comment

Imagine the following unfolding in a boardroom: the CEO is holding his head in his hands, both palms covering his entire face. The person reporting to him is leaning back in his chair, ankle on knee, hands behind his back. The subordinate seems to be totally oblivious to the CEO. Even without hearing the words being spoken, what conclusions can you draw from this scenario?

My perception of the message was: “To hell with all of you. I didn’t meet the commitments I made. I don’t care, and there’s nothing you’re going to do about it.” Without intending to, and totally undermining his own credibility and long-standing relationships.

Was this his intended message? Probably not. He works in a high-stress, highly volatile, deadline driven world. He’s good at what he does. I assume he wants to see the company succeed and grow. So why the subtle but loud message that contradicts this?

Bottom Line:

1. Watch your own body language. Especially when you’re under the gun.

2. You get paid for results, not effort. When reporting, give the results first and the story second.

When you’re reporting to your boss, you’ve either delivered what you promised, or you haven’t. If you haven’t and you start be describing all the effort (not the result) you’re not fooling anybody. If you have and you start with the story, you’re giving the (false) impression that you’re making excuses.

Further Reading:

Body Language Basics for Dates and Job Interviews

How Science Can Teach You to Spot a Liar

How To Build Relationships Without Talking

 

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Posted in behaviour, communications, conflict, emotional intelligence, engagement, influencing, listening, relationships, self-awareness

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Building Relationships in Meetings

Posted on September 26, 2011 | 1 Comment

Here’s a quick but powerful tip for building relationships, even while you’re sitting in meetings all day:

Pay attention to the person who’s talking.

Sit up, shut up (your electronics), turn your chair and actually face them. Make eye contact. Not the stalker kind of eye-contact, but enough so they know you’re paying attention to them.

Don’t believe it’s that simple? Next time you’re in a meeting, take a look around at who’s paying attention or not. Not just turning their head, but actually turning their entire body and facing the speaker. Now compare that to somebody who’s merely turning their head. While this is better than not paying attention at all, just turning your head gives off the  body language “I’m better than you” message.

Try it and see what difference it makes in the follow-up relationships you have with the people you meet with regularly.

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Posted in behaviour, communications, engagement, influencing, relationships, self-awareness

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What Are You Communicating?

Posted on July 25, 2011 | 1 Comment

One of the more frequent issues facing organizations is around internal communication. Sometimes employees say they don’t know what’s going on despite great effort made at communicating, or the leader has a clear idea of where they want to go but nobody seems to be following.

Even worse is when the leadership thinks it’s doing a good job communicating (“Look, we have a newsletter!”), but the internal survey comes back with “lack of communication” written all over it. This is what I like to call failing the “Am I smoking crack?” check.

Good news: at least you’re checking. That puts you ahead of 90% of the companies out there.

What simple behaviors do leaders who communicate well engage in? Here’s a couple of things I’ve noticed.

  1. Listen  - Maybe your one-way communication to your organization isn’t the problem. Maybe it’s that you’re not listening to what they’re saying. People generally aren’t ready to listen until they feel they’ve been heard. Maybe they’re trying to tell you something important? What are you telling people when you listen to them.
  2. Have a Simple and Consistent Message- remember KISS? “Keep it Simple Stupid?” The “stupid” in this case is not the people you’re talking to. It’s you. If you think that a wordy, complicated, bland message  is going to engage people to action then you’re being stupid.If you’re going to ask people to listen to you at least do them the courtesy and have the courage to actually say something. Be bold, brave, and brief.What is your message?
  3. Link Purpose to Action- can you answer the “So What?” question? Does everybody in your organization know where they fit in? If they don’t know how what they do supports the company – what the company is trying to do and what their part is – then they tend to switch off.If you can’t draw a line between somebody’s role  in your company to the company’s larger vision, strategy, and goals, then why do they work for you again?
  4. See Every Interaction as an Opportunity – every interaction with all employees is an opportunity to communicate. Beginning at the hiring process, on-boarding, newsletters, celebrations, feedback, one-on-ones, coaching, how your company runs meetings, who you fire (or not), who you promote(or not), etc. All the simple things that outstanding managers do well.How does your company behave during a crisis? What does how often and how you communicate say about you and your company? Sometimes it’s a case of “your actions are so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying”.
  5. Forget E-Mail – notice how I didn’t mention e-mails (until now). If you think you’re communicating through e-mail you might want to have another think.  Talking a lot is also not communicating (see point 1. above).
How important do you think communication is in your current rôle? How much time do you think you spend communicating? How much time do you dedicate to “communicating” (and listening) in your daily schedule?

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Posted in behaviour, change, coaching, communications, conflict, delegation, engagement, execution, feedback, influencing, listening, mentoring, motivating, persauding

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Communicate, Navigate, Execute

Posted on July 18, 2011 | 2 Comments

I was working on my old motorcycle in garage this winter with a friend who spent some time in the Canadian navy. He reminded me of the old military phrase “Communicate, navigate, and fight.”

A ship, a plane, a soldier all have to be in the right place (navigate), do their job (fight), and tell their superiors what they’ve done (communicate).

I sometimes have interesting conversations in the strangest places.

What It Means In Business

In business, communication is communication. Getting the right information to the right person at the right time so that they can execute their tasks and responsibilities as effectively and efficiently as possible. Which is why the leader(s) of an organization need to have a clear vision of where they’re going (navigate) from the leader of the organization, and be willing to not tolerate lack of performance either in themselves or the organization (execute).

What’s More Important?

Which one of these three  is the most important? No matter what level you are in an organization, if other people report to you my answer would be communicate.

Communicating the vision (navigate), communicating the plan (execute), communicating the results (accountability) are a big part of the job. Yes, you have the do your job, but most of what any manager or leader does has to be communicate.

A soldier has a gun and a shovel. Their “execute” is straight-forward: dig a trench, shoot at the right target. As a leader in a business or otherwise, our execute is done through other’s actions. We set those actions in motions by “communicating”.

Everything is Communication

I’m not just talking newsletters and slide presentations, although these have a place. We “communicate” in almost everything we do in a business, including but not limited to: hiring practices, performance reviews, weekly one-on-one meetings with our direct staff, giving feedback, what we choose to delegate to whom, who we fire, who we promote, who we don’t promote, what we celebrate, who we pursue as customers, which customers we chose to drop, etc.

These are all forms of and opportunities to communicate.

What Most Businesses Suck At

. . . and yet when my clients ask they’re employees what their company could do better, “communicate” comes up over and over again. So ask yourself the following two questions:

1. Do you communicate with your subordinates often and well enough?

2. Does your boss communicate with you often and well enough?

If you ask a room full of managers and executives these questions, many of them will answer “Yes” to the first question, and “No” to the second. Even with their bosses and subordinates in the same room at the same time answering in the same way. Without a hint of irony.

Think about it – are you really better than your boss at understanding where the company is going, and conveying it to your direct reports if she’s not doing a good job with you? Really?

Communicate Until You’re Sick Of It

How much do you need to communicate? Constantly. I like to tell my clients that if you tell everybody in the company the same thing seven different times in seven different ways, it might stick. When you’re sick of talking about your company’s values, vision, and goals, when you think you can’t give the same spiel one more time, then you’re probably just starting to communicate enough.

Who’s the best communicator you ever worked for? What do you think they did well that helped them get their message across?

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Posted in behaviour, communications

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How to Get the Credit You Deserve

Posted on June 20, 2011 | 1 Comment

A couple of weeks ago I got an  e-mail from a former co-worker asking what shy employees could do to get the credit they deserve for the work they do. The past couple of weeks I’ve talked about

Which is all great, but shy people are shy. Which means marching into your bosses office with a year’s worth of accomplishments isn’t really in the cards. Not that I would suggest that you do that anyway.

Manage the Relationship

Relationships are funny things. They don’t just happen. At least, not usually. Some people seem to be able to walk into a crowded room of strangers and come out with a dozen new friends. They’re lots of fun to be around, for sure, but at least half of the world is not like that.

So what does this half of the world do? For us, relationships are a matter of trust built over time. The more time we spend with somebody, the more we trust them, the stronger the relationship.

Ideally you shouldn’t have to manage your relationship with your boss  by yourself. You and she would be managing your relationship together. By which I mean you would be getting half-an-hour of face-time with them, one-on-one, every week. If that’s already happening for you, that’s fantastic. Stop reading here.

If not, and the thought of asking your boss for a half-hour commitment once a week scare the bejesus out of you, then start smaller. Take that summary you’re getting from your weekly plan/do/review exercise, and e-mail it to her.

Write a Weekly E-mail

It doesn’t have to, and really shouldn’t be, a long detailed e-mail. Just enough detail that you can recall what you were talking about a year from now. Hit the highlights:

  • what did you get done last week, and
  • what are you going to focus on this week.

End of story. If you have more than a three or four sentence paragraph consider editing it down.

First and most important, it ensures you are working on the right thing. No point in putting in all that effort if your boss needs you to be working on something else. And didn’t realize you weren’t working on it. Imagine that going on for weeks or even months and then them finding out you weren’t working on what they thought you were . . . Oh, you don’t have to imagine it? Oh dear.

Secondly, it keeps you top of mind with your boss and all the things you’ve accomplished in the last year. Especially when it comes time for that all important performance review and bonus and raise (or even, as I was discussing with a family friend this weekend, departmental budget discussions)

Third, it made it easier for your boss to write your performance review. All they need do is pull up all e-mails from you titled “Weekly Status Update” and start remember all the wonderful things you accomplished. With enough specifics and details to justify the high rating you now deserve.

When You Become the Boss

Ideally this conversation would be taking place face-to-face, one-on-one with just you and the boss every week. In half-an-hour or less  you’d cover a lot of ground. But most bosses are very hard to convince that giving up a half-hour slot for every direct report they have every week to do a status update and maybe even some coaching and mentoring. What they don’t realize is that this is a viable alternative to spending their time  running around with their hair on fire.

The hair-on-fire-dealing-with-the-latest-emergency-and-oh-my-god-I-have-500-e-mails-in-my-in-box happens in part because they don`t manage their employees. They think they do, but they don’t deal with setting priorities, reviewing work, assigning work, coaching, mentoring, and giving feedback in a one-on-one situation with each of their direct-reports every week, they`re not. If they did that, their hair wouldn’t be on fire in the first place.

So we’ll help them as best we can by keeping communications open.

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Posted in communications, continuous improvement, effeciency, effectiveness, engagement, feedback, influencing, mentoring, performance appraisal, performance review, productivity, relationships, self development, self improvement

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Manage Your Performance Review

Posted on June 13, 2011 | 1 Comment

If you want to communicate well with your boss you have to plan for it. It’s not enough to do your job well, unfortunately. Especially if you’re the “shy” type and your boss isn’t. What does help is to make regular communication with your boss part of your routine – and I know us introverted types have a routine. It’s often part of our base behaviour.

I once had a friend at GD who would sit down once a year for an afternoon in a comfy chair. Glass of fine scotch in hand, pen & paper in the other he would spend a couple of hours by himself reviewing his accomplishments for the last year. He figured out what he wanted to do in the next year. He would consider his career, his volunteer and recreational activities, relationships, and how happy he was with his life.

The Power of Review

He gave himself his own performance review, planned what to do next, and then went and did it. I’m not sure where he is now, but I’m sure he’s still on the fast track, or doing what he loves, or both.

The Plan – Do – Review cycle is one of those simple ideas with a lot of applications. Fighter pilots call it OODA (Observe – Orient – Decide – Act). David Allen of GTD fame models it as Capture – Organize – Review – Do.

Here’s the simple idea:  Use “Plan – Do – Review” to show your boss you know what you’re doing. Make her job of reviewing your performance easier. Admit it, some bosses don’t prepare for performance appraisals very well anyway.

Sometimes the only way it will happen is if we can make it easier for them. Is this “right”? Probably not, but do you want to leave your hands in the hope that somebody else is going to do the right thing? Your promotions, raises, and career depend on your boss knowing (and remembering, and documenting) what you’ve done for the last year. Don’t depend on them to follow your best self-interest. It might not happen unless you make it happen.

Plan – Do – Review In Action

You can apply the Plan – Do – Review trope to your hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, etc. work. Try it, and with an honest effort you’ll find yourself looking for new contexts and situations you’ll want to apply it to.

If you’ve spent the last year creating a “brag” folder, listing your accomplishments, reviewing your own performance, and mitigating your own weaknesses, wouldn’t that make you look good on your appraisal anyway?

Get Better and Get Credit

I’ve borrowed much of this concept from “Rock Your Review” by Tanya Stevenson, a great book and a quick read from somebody’s who’s done what she describes, and done it very well. Here’s my take:

  • At the beginning of every work week, review your calendar, to-do list, and work assignments. Decide what the most important things you need to get done that week are, and plan how you’re going to get them done.
  • Do It

Use Review To Capture Too

  • At the end of the week, take some time to assess yourself against your plan. Did you do what you set out to do? What did you get done? What are you going to do about what was left un-done? What obstacles did you run into that you need help with? What suggestions would you like to make, and what did you learn? What do you plan to get done next week?
  • Write your accomplishments into a short e-mail to yourself, or capture it in some other way that’s appropriate to your work. At the end of the year you should have a nice fat folder brimming with 52 weeks of your accomplishments.

The question then becomes: what to do with this trove of productivity? You’ve captured what you want to communicate, how does the real communication happen?

Next Week

Telling your boss how great you are without feeling like an ass.

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Posted in communications, continuous improvement, decision making, effectiveness, executing, execution, feedback, GTD, influencing, meetings, performance appraisal, performance review, productivity, self development, self improvement, self-awareness, setting goals, strategy, your career

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To Touch or Not To Touch

Posted on May 15, 2011 | Leave a comment

I recently got an e-mail from a former co-worker and current friend, who asked:

Do you think managers should be more ‘touchy-feely’? Here is a pretty interesting collection of studies, summaries that have looked at the power of non-sexual touch.

http://bit.ly/hBIOME

Gord

Hi Gord,

I’ve done a little experiment since you sent this link to me. I’ve reached out and touched some of my clients at the end of our sessions – usually a full open palm on the back, shoulder, or arm. It’s had mixed results. Some seem to welcome the touch. They know that we’re connecting and supporting each other. Others seem to tolerate it, or wonder what I’m up to. I’m not a touchy-feely guy by nature, so my first advice would be:

It Depends

Some people will welcome it and need it. It’s reassuring for them. For others it’s threatening and unwelcome. Likewise unconsciously pulling away from somebody with whom you’re trying to build a relationship, and who reaches out to you, is counter-productive. So my second piece of advice would be:

Watch Carefully

Watch carefully how they react and watch carefully how you react. It comes back to being mindful of what’s happening around you. For those of us who are task/doing oriented versus people oriented this is a conscious effort.

I’m not saying you should start working the room and back-slapping it that’s not your nature (or stop if it is). It might be as simple as not making a face when somebody shakes our hand for a little too long (or noticing when somebody is being uncomfortable with your too-long-for-them handshake).

If you’re more people oriented remember, not wanting to be touched doesn’t mean we don’t like you. Your enthusiastic approach to life is great, but there are some out there who might misinterpret your intentions.

Be Sincere

So if you’re trying to fake sincerity, and if you do you’re going to get busted, you’ll be harming the relationship. If somebody suspect on a subconscious level that you’re hamming it up just to influence them, even if that isn’t your intention, the trust you’re trying to gain will be lost instead. You’re better off keeping your hands to yourself (if that’s who you really are) than coming across as awkward and fake.

The opposite is also true – if you’re an outgoing person by nature, being stiff and formal will be odd, and people will notice. Like a tie that doesn’t match your suit. Better not to wear the tie than to try to fit in.

If you’re Bill Clinton or Tony Robbins, this advice doesn’t apply to you. Influences of that skill and depth have their own personal reality-distortion fields. If you’re not, don’t try and fake it.

In order to influence people, we have to make them feel comfortable and safe. So my last piece of advice is:

Pay Attention

Adjust your behaviour to your audience. Drucker said “Communication is what the listener does.” In this case it means learning to adjust our style on a moment-by-moment basis to the people we’re with and the situation we’re in. Nothing tells somebody we care as much as paying attention to them. There are no cookie-cutter solutions when it comes to people. You want to influence them? Pay attention.


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