Monthly Archives: December 2010

How to Give Positive Feedback

Posted on December 31, 2010 | Leave a comment

This week’s articles are a re-blog of the year’s most popular posts. Today – how and when to give positive feedback. Enjoy!

A couple of days ago I had a guest post here arguing that employees want and need feedback, a point of view with which I very much agree. I’d written a guest post for him, describing how to give feedback to your boss.

There was a lively discussion that followed these two posts. People want feedback at work, and many that I’ve talked to agree that it’s usually done badly. In my last post I talked about when to give feedback (often, mostly positive). Today I want to talk about how to give positive feedback.

All feedback is regular, frequent, short, sincere, specific, future oriented, and in private. But instead of talking about what it is, let’s work with an example:

“Hey Karl – can I share something with you? Thanks for putting your laptop away during the last staff meeting. When you do that it helps make the meeting go faster. Keep it up.”

Now let’s break it down.

First, we asked Karl for his permission to give him feedback. The really important part is that we actually mean it. We wait for an answer, and if Karl says no, or if Karl says anything other than yes, then we move on. Maybe Karl’s having a bad day and isn’t really receptive to our management shenanigans today. Maybe he’s late for his next meeting. Whatever the reason, we respect his answer. He’ll likely circle around later and ask us what was going on, either when he’s collected himself or not in a rush. That’s OK.

Feedback is so often badly done, or done only when corrective feedback is being given, that many people are hyper-sensitive to phrases such as “Can we talk?”, or “Can I share something with you?”, or “Can I give you some feedback?” If you want to see what somebody looks like when they’re really freaked out, try out the “Could you step into my office?” line. Your goal is to desensitize people. That’s why it’s important to start with positive feedback, with your best performers, and within their comfort zones.

There are several reasons to start with your best performers. Mostly it’s easier to find specific and sincere positive things to say to your best performers. Since you’re practising a new skill, start with the easy ones. this will also make it easier to get started. If you start by giving corrective feedback to the staff member that you really just want to fire, then you’re much more likely to put it off. You’re starting a new habit of giving feedback on a regular and consistent basis and starting with the easy ones makes it more likely you’ll succeed. Plus, your best performers deserve it. They’re your best performers after all!

Secondly, the feedback was specific. We not only described the specific behaviour we saw (“Thanks for putting your laptop away.”), I also described they consequences of that behaviour (“When you do that . . . “) and what you expect in the future (“. . . keep it up.”). We could have just said “Thanks for putting your laptop away.”, but it would have had much less impact. Karl wouldn’t have known why what he did was important. The statement might have even been perceived as sarcastic. Exactly the opposite of what you intended!

Third, all good feedback and performance review focus on the future. Reinforce the behaviour you want to see more of. Focusing on the future becomes even more important when you start giving corrective feedback. More on that later.

Lastly, do it in private. I don’t mean step-into-my-office-and close-the-door-behind-you private. I mean don’t single people out in front of their peers kind of private. A quick, quiet work in the hallway is good enough. We often give praise and awards out in a grand ceremony with cake and all, but many people are uncomfortable with that kind of recognition. Keep it low-key and casual. This style also makes it faster and easier to do more often.

To summarize: step 1) ask and wait for permission 2) describe the specific behaviour and the consequences of that behaviour 3) focus on the future, and 4) do it in private

How often? Once a day, at least. More if you can handle it, but once a day to start with. Spent about six weeks practising giving positive feedback and watch the results.

Don’t give corrective feedback yet. Remember that your aim here is to built up confidence, build a positive environment, and build a relationship. Only then will corrective feedback be effective. Earlier than that and you risk undermining what you’re trying to do.

Related posts:
Four skills you need to be an effective manager
When your feedback gets push-back
When feedback doesn’t work
What to do if you get bad feedback
How to give corrective feedback the first time

Posts by others:
Shrink change with one minute praisings – Dan Heath

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Posted in behaviour, change, communications, conflict, conflict management, developing staff, influencing

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Thank-You!

Posted on December 30, 2010 | 2 Comments

The blog broke 500 visits this months (505 as of this post). Thank-you!

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How to Give Corrective Feedback

Posted on December 30, 2010 | 1 Comment

This week’s articles are a re-blog of the year’s most popular posts. Today – how and when to give corrective feeedback. Enjoy!

[Editor's Note: Corrective feedback has a greater impact and is less effective that positive feedback! Go back and read that again, because at first it doesn't make sense. Positive feedback is what really drives change in the direction you want, but it has less impact. Corrective feedback needs to be given, but if it's the only kind of feedback you're giving, they won't hear it. The short version: to drive change to you must give at least 10x as much positive as corrective feedback. Catch them doing something right, otherwise all you're doing is training them to avoid you.]

Corrective feedback is almost the same as positive feedback. It’s still short, specific, behaviour focused, and future oriented, but this time it ends with a question. That question is:

“How can you do that better next time?”

Here’s an example:

“Samantha, can I share something with you? When you hand in your weekly report late, this is what happens: I have to stay late to create my report, or complete it without your input which affects the quality. That makes me look bad. It also makes me think that you don’t care about deadlines, or about other people who depend on you. How can you fix it for next time?”

Or

“Greg, can I give you some feedback? When you interrupt, start talking over top of other people, and raise your voice at meetings, this is what happens: It makes the meeting longer because people feel their point of view isn’t being heard and they repeat themselves. How do you think you can get your point across and still do this better in the future?”

Notice that it’s short & sweet. We’re not pulling any punches, but we focus on observable behaviour and its consequences. Not nefarious intangibles like “you have a bad attitude” or “please stop being obnoxious”. My second example was originally longer. It contained consequences such as: “That makes the team less effective because there’s less respect and listening going on. It makes you less effective because the people you’re talking over top of resent it, and are less likely to support your point of view.”, but that was too much feedback. Too much can be overwhelming and counterproductive. Pick one thing, and it’s more likely to be heard.

Self-awareness is so important in a leader or manager. We must dig deep to figure out why somebody’s behaviour is affecting us or others the way it does. Often we’ll skip straight to judgement without realizing that there’s a behaviour or action that invoked an emotional reaction in us. When we can zero in on a concrete action, facial expression, tone of voice, or body language, we can give useful, actionable feedback. We can hold that mirror up to our direct report or staff member and let them figure out what to do about it.

Are they constantly late for meetings or work? Do they cruise the Internet when they should be working? Do they gossip about others? Do they never smile, or make eye-contact? Many times they won’t realize what they’re doing or how it affects others. Yes, things like facial expression, etc. are concrete behaviours that we can give feedback on. Bad attitude is not.

This is the kind of feedback that your best performers are constantly craving. High-achievers are always on the hunt for improvements to themselves and their work. That’s why they’re good at what they do – they want to be better at what they do. Part of our job as managers is to help our people and the organization as a whole become more effective. We can do that by giving them the feedback they crave.

The critical part of this question at the end of the feedback is the “you” part. They must take responsibility for their actions, and they must take responsibility for changing their actions in the future. You can’t make people change if they don’t want to, nor should you try. It’s a waste of your time. You can build a relationship, create influence, reflect back, and point out areas of improvement, but you’ll never make somebody change. Remember also, you already have that big red flashing sign over your head that says “boss”. The moment you have to explicitly use your positional authority, you have lost a little of it.

Don’t tell them how to fix it, and keep it short. If the answer from our two examples above is “I dunno, I guess I could let people finish their sentences.”, or “Sorry boss, I’ll get my weekly report in on time from now on, I didn’t realize it was bugging you.”, then that’s great. They’ve heard you, you’ve helped them become a little more self-aware, and they’ve taken responsibility for changing it.

Related posts:

Four skills you need to be an effective manager
When your feedback gets push-back
When feedback doesn’t work
What to do if you get bad feedback
How to give corrective feedback the first time

This group has relatively hands off policy with regards to moderation. We assume everybody is an adults, mostly, and Goddess forbid we should start making moral judgments about others’ maturity, morality, or character. Three of four times a year somebody asks us to delete a posting where they made an “oops”, which will usually be handled within a day.Being adults we must be by definition be able to self-regulate. More than that smacks of censorship. We only ask of others to be responsible for their own actions, including what they write on-line.Allowing people posting stupid things has its uses. It allows us to judge who we want to associate with. What people say, and how they say it, usually says more about them and their state-of-mind than it does about the object of their hostility. They are self-selecting themselves out of the hot-tub.That being said, the following behaviour is unacceptable and will lead to removal if repeated, in accordance with FetLife’s terms of service:1) Libel, gossip, and rumour-mongering. This include creating a temporary identify for the purposes of furthering the same (also known as “sock puppetry”) 2) Threats of real-life physical violence or intimidation 3) Revealing somebody’s real name, address, phone number or other personal information without that person’s permission (also known as “outing”)

Please let the moderators know if and when such behaviour happens so we can respond appropriately. Letting us know helps out, since we can’t read every response on every thread. It is of course your right to report directly to the FetLife administrators, and we encourage you to do so if you feel we are not be responsive or the matter is particular sensitive for you.

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Posted in behaviour, change, communications, conflict, conflict management, developing staff

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Treating Everybody the Same is Unfair

Posted on December 29, 2010 | Leave a comment

This week’s articles are a re-blog of the year’s most popular posts. Today – why treating everybody the same isn’t always fair. Enjoy!

It’s okay to care about the people you work with. Spending more time with them will save you time, so it probably works better if you like them. Just make sure you treat everybody the same, because otherwise would be unfair. Right?

My two daughters came to me one day to complain of a perceived unequal treatment. They’d obviously discussed it at length, because it’s not often that they work together towards the same ends. I don’t remember what the specific complaint was, but I do remember the looks on their faces when I bluntly admitted that they were right.

They were shocked. They were appalled. They were expecting an argument, and when they didn’t get it they weren’t sure what to do. So I asked them if they wanted to know why I didn’t treat them the same. At least one of them is naturally curious and said “Yes.”

“Nichole,” I said, “You love talking on the phone, chatting on your computer, spending time with your friends. If had to ground you, the worst thing I could do is take away all your electronics and make you stay in your room. Then you couldn’t talk to your friends, and you’d go crazy with nothing to do in your room. Right?”

She allowed that I might have made a statement of fact that resembled reproducible reality in some fashion.

“Victoria,” I continued, “You like reading. A good day for your is hanging out in your room with a new book you just picked up at Chapters. If I grounded you by making you stay in your room and taking away your electronics, would that really punish you?”

Victoria admitted that no, being forced to stay in her room and read a book wouldn’t really bother her that much.

I turned back to Nichole. “If I took all your books away, Nichole, but left you your phone or laptop, that probably wouldn’t bother you that much, right?” She performed the ritual of the nod of the sullen teenager, which I took to mean some form of consent. “But if I did that to Victoria, how do you think she would feel?” It was a rhetorical question, not requiring an answer, and she had been down this road with me often enough to know this.

The gears duly turned, and wisp of smoke appeared at their ears and slowly drifted upwards, and they made the “Huh” sound in unison.

I concluded with “Treating you the same is not fair. You’re two different people, and to be fair I have to treat you differently.”

“That makes sense, Daddy. Thanks”

Okay, I made up that last part about them saying thank-you. I think I still got my point across to them.

Your employees are the same. No, they’re not sullen teenage girls. The are the same as your children in that they’re all different. Some love being recognized publicly in front of their peers for a job well done. Some are embarrassed by the attention. They would do anything to avoid public recognition including going out of their way not to do a good job. Some are motivated by money, some by their family, some love the work for it’s own sake, some do the job to support their hobbies, some need to work with the public, some hate it.

Staff need three basic things to do a good job. These are the necessary prerequisites on the way to building an outstanding team that delivers and is motivated to work together. Think of it as the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, except for employees. The three things they need are 1)  the skills and tools to the job, 2) clear expectations about who does what by when, and 3) somebody at work that takes an interest in them and their career. If you treat your employees all the same the signal you’re sending is “I don’t care about you, because you’re all the same to me.” Think about how you would feel, if your boss said that to you?

It’s up to you as their manager to figure out what each of their unique talents, abilities, and motivators are. It’s your job to match the person to the job (or the job to the person). And it’s your job to make sure everybody gets treated fairly, which doesn’t always mean treating them equally.

Four skills you need to be an effective manager
Leadership in the long term – the fastest way to develop relationships and time is to invest the time

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Posted in behaviour, communications, conflict, developing staff, emotional intelligence, relationships

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Preparing for Meetings – What You Need to Do Before the Meeting Starts

Posted on December 28, 2010 | Leave a comment

This week’s articles are a re-blog of the year’s most popular posts.You’re running a meeting. What can you do to give it a better chance of success? Do like the Scouts do – be prepared.  Enjoy!

meetings

No matter the size or purpose of a meeting, preparation for all participants is directly proportional to its success. If you are running the meeting this goes double. This means having an agenda published ahead of time, and distributed to all the attendees in enough time for you and them to prepare properly.

Invitations to the meeting should include the agenda as well as any logistical details such as place, refreshments, safety & bathrooms, if projectors are needed, and so on. One of my earlier jobs included doing military work at secure facilities, which meant that meeting invitation included instructions for visit clearances and getting through security. Any special instructions such as this should also be part of the agenda and the meeting invitation.

Agenda is key. For a complex, multi-day, large meeting you may have to meet to decide the agenda and attendees! This may seem a little Dilbert-esque, but if it clearly supports the purpose of the meeting you’re preparing for, then go for it. Having a stand-up meeting in your office a half an hour before an important client meeting has a different name. That’s called “panicking”.

The only thing that’s worse than this might be walking into a meeting for which you are the key participant and winging it. It’s embarrassing for everybody concerned, and the only person you might be fooling is yourself.

In general, your agenda will consist of:

  1. Purpose - the purpose of this meeting is clearly stated up front for everybody to see. If you don’t have a clear purpose, then go back to setting goals. Even a weekly staff meeting should have a purpose that lines up with the team’s purpose. It doesn’t hurt to reinforce what the team’s priorities are.
  2. Time & Location – where and when to meet. This may include an appropriate map for people coming from out-of-plant or out-of-town. If you can include a specific map from their hotel to your building that’s even better.
  3. Attendees – whose attending by name, company, and role as applicable. This may seem like overkill for a weekly staff meeting where everybody knows each other. Still, who you’re expecting to attend is clearly stated up front. You should make it clear to anyone that can’t attend (vacations and conflicts sometimes happen) that you expect them to send a delegate in their place. If you’re lucky enough to receive such information for a meeting somebody else is organizing, ignore it at your own peril.*
  4. Special Instructions – if any, instructions for dialling in by teleconference, arriving half an hour early to get through security, who to contact in case of an issue, etc., all goes here.Start time and responsible party – when to start and who is leading the discussion for this item. The start time for the next item is the end time for the current item. This allows attendees to prepare what they need to, for the time allotted to them.
  5. Description – a short but meaningful description of the purpose of the meeting. Keep in mind how you will know if the meeting was successful when crafting this one-liner.
  6. Outcome - I always set up my agendas in a table format with three columns: one for start time & responsible party (shortened to “Led By:”), the second for the description, and the third for an outcome. The “Outcome” column is blank, but big enough to write notes into during the meeting. This includes action items if any, who was responsible for that action or actions, and the due date for the action. This way I could keep notes on the agenda for writing minutes after the meeting, or other participants could keep track for themselves.
  7. Agenda Items, including
    1. Start time and responsible party – when to start and who is leading the discussion for this item. The start time for the next item is the end time for the current item. This allows attendees to prepare what they need to, for the time allotted to them.
    2. Description – a short but meaningful description of what to discuss, decide, or debate.
    3. Outcome – I always set up my agendas in a table format with three columns: one for start time & responsible party (shortened to “Led By:”), the second for the description, and the third for an outcome. The “Outcome” column is blank, but big enough to write notes into during the meeting. This includes action items if any, who was responsible for that action or actions, and the due date for the action. This way I could keep notes on the agenda for writing minutes after the meeting, or other participants could keep track for themselves.

In summary, be ready to:

  1. Create and publish an agenda of appropriate detail and timeliness to allow all participant to prepare for the meeting themselves.
  2. Facilitate, take notes, and take part in the meeting. Depending on the meeting you may wish to delegate the note-taking or facilitation or both to somebody else
  3. Create and publish minutes of the meeting as soon as possible after the meeting. I suggest you do this immediately after the meeting while the details are still fresh. The longer you put this off, the lessor the quality of the minutes, and the less well prepared you will be for the next meeting. Block out the time to do this.

You might also be interested in:

How to prepare a useful agenda – setting the intent and desired outcome for a meeting will in itself make it more useful
Running the meeting – how to start on time, stick to the agenda, end on time, and handle intentional and unintentional sabotage
Laptops in meetings – just don’t – why bring laptops to meetings is a career killer

*Who didn’t attend, sent a delegate, or teleconference in instead of attending in person can sometimes tell you a lot about the meeting’s strategic & political context. I don’t advocate that you play games to get ahead, but ignoring the “politics” of a meeting is just wilful ignorance. That’s fine if you like being stuck in your current position forever. Your choice. But that’s a different post.

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E-Mail Made Simple – Simple Tricks for Getting Your E-Mail Under Control

Posted on December 27, 2010 | Leave a comment

This week’s articles are a re-blog of the year’s most popular posts. First up, simple & effective tricks for processing your e-mail: have a routine; have a process; let your computer do the work, don’t file – archive & forget. Enjoy!

I was doing some subcontractor management for a defence communications system in England a few years ago. I got to work in an interesting part of the country, and I got to work with lots of smart people. One of the smartest was the project technical lead.

He could seemingly keep a running tally in his head of many details, moving parts, schedule, staff, and cost details – all re-callable at a moment’s notice and as needed. He also had an e-mail in-box that he was quite proud of. It had over 500 unanswered e-mails. He figured that anybody had something important to tell him they would phone him or find him in his office. For him e-mail was just a search-able black box of information. Now I’m not that smart, and maybe I’m also a bit more of control freak when it comes to e-mail (although he was a control freak in other ways).

I can’t stand having any e-mail in my in-box, and I hate wasting time on “doing” e-mail. I don’t believe you can “do” e-mail, but you sure can waste time with it.

There are lots of good blog post, books, pod-casts, and web-sites that will give you advice on how to control your e-mail. I’m going to hit the highlights because I believe a one of things an outstanding manager does well is manage themselves. This includes managing their e-mail, and communicating well, which includes answering other’s questions, making decisions, and keeping up on the latest project and company statuses.

Unless you’re an eccentric genius who doesn’t need to be a good team player because he’s near the top of the class system. Then feel free to ignore this advice.

You can tame your e-mail habits, whatever they are, by:

  • Having a process,
  • Having a routine
  • Learning how your e-mail client can auto-magically file things for you
  • Not wasting time with a complicated filing system.

Have a Process

There are lots of different ways to process e-mail. It helps you decide quickly what to do with any particular message, and helps cut through the noise and lets you get to the important stuff.

Pick a process and stick to it. The best one I know is David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”, which goes something like this:

Decide what you need to do with it and do it.

  • If you can deal with it in less than two minutes, do it now. The time, energy, and mental capacity required to track this bit of trivia overwhelms the effort required to just do it now.
  • If it’s something that needs to be done on or before a particular date, put it in your calendar.
  • If it will take more than two minutes but not for a specific time, put it on your to-do list.
  • If you need to keep it for reference, file it.
  • If somebody else can or should do it, delegate it (and follow-up, but that’s a different post)
  • If it’s trash, then trash it.

Those are your only six choices. That’s it.

Have a Routine

Process your e-mail at a set time or times every day. Times that you’ve got scheduled in your calendar so you have no excuse. If you’re like me that will keep you from constantly checking your in-box. Or if you’re not like me it will help you block of the time you need to empty your in-box and return all those messages that people actually expect you, the leader, to read and give a thoughtful reply to.

And for the sake of your God or gods, if you haven’t done it already, please please please turn off the notification that makes noise and movement every time you get a new e-mail. Really? How are you going to get any work done with that thing going off all the time? Including your smart phone. Nobody you’re talking too wants to know that you’re thinking about all the e-mails you’re constantly getting. Yes, you’ll live.

Have Your Computer Do the Work

In Outlook and Gmail you can set up automatic filing or filters for incoming e-mail. This means the e-mails from your model railroad club, company newsletter, or Mustang restoration club can get put in the “Later When I Have Five Minutes to Kill At the End of the Day or on the Bus” Folder without you needing to do anything. Except set up the filter the first time.

Conversely you can set up a “Now!” folder, which your e-mail program opens to by default, for message from our boss and wife. Or both. Or either.

It’s amazing how much less intimidating and frustrating an in-box is when it’s not filled with crap, and you can focus on what’s important.

Don’t File – Archive & Forget

This is a sub-set of the last tip: let your computer do the work. Coming up with a complex, complete, and correct filing system for your e-mail is a waste of time. As long as the subject line is sufficiently descriptive you can use the search function to find anything you need. Even then, you can also search in the body of the e-mail.

You might also like:
What goes in an e-mail – and what doesn’t
Career Gotcha’s – why your corporate e-mail account is not your personal e-mail account, and why it matters
When and When Nots of E-Mail – simple tricks to reduce the distraction and time-wasting hazards of e-mail

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Posted in effeciency, effectiveness, email, GTD, hacks

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Merry Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2010 | Leave a comment

Thank-you.

It’s been an interesting year for me professionally and personally. I owe much of it to the people who read and follow my blog. Thank-you especially to those who leave comments, engage with me, and disagree with me. If two people trying to solve a problem both agree, then one of them is unnecessary!

. . . and there are lots of problems out there in the business and professional world. I see lots of people every week who do incredible things and heroic efforts. Yet I keep seeing the same issues over and over. Accountability, execution. Rigorous and courageous (but not ruthless) communication. Behaviour interpreted as attitude. Flying blind. Hope as a strategy.

Just to be clear, hope is not a strategy (thank-you John Spence).

I’ve had the good fortune of falling in with a company with big plans and the ability to carry them out: Results.com. I’ve transitioned from project management to coaching and teaching, which is where I want to be. I work with open-minded, ambitious business owners who want to grow their business. They’ve learned from me, and I from them. It’s been great.

My blog is set to break 500 hits this month. My twitter followers are growing too, and I’ve started writing a book which is something I’ve always wanted to do.

I’m going to focus on the simple thing I see outstanding managers doing well. The skating and puck handling, blocking and tackling of business. The basics, which when adopted rigorously, will propel your effectiveness, your career, and your business to success. The stuff that really works.

Thank-you also to the team at the Results.com Canada office, and Stephen who is a great encourager and mentor.

The biggest thanks are for my Cathie, my wife and partner for almost 30 years. Thanks for standing by me when things get tough. Here’s to the next 30. I’ll meet you under the mistletoe!

Have a great Christmas and enjoy the return of the sun.

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Simple Things To Learn To Be a Better Boss

Posted on December 23, 2010 | Leave a comment

Are you a good boss? Do you enjoy what you do? Would you do it if you didn’t have to work for money? Do leap out of bed in the morning?

Do your values, believes, and ideals line up with the values of the company and people you’re working for and with? Do you know what to expect from the people you work with when tough decisions are being made?

Are you good at what you do? Do you have the skills, knowledge, and experience to be the best? Have you learned how to pick the right people, including the ones that fill in your blind spots? Have you learned how to deal with conflict, and encourage creativity, because if two people in a meeting agree, then one of them is unnecessary.

Do you know the basics – have you learned how to give feedback, run meetings, communicate effectively, and inspire other people. Do you make good decisions? Do you know how to coach, delegate, and hold yourself others accountable? Can you build life-long relationships, deliver, and measure your results? Do you keep learning?

If not, why not? What’s the one thing that you need to work on next to make yourself a better boss in the next year?

♦

Have a great Christmas and enjoy the return of the sun. The next couple of weeks of the blog will be repeats of greatest hits and popular blogs from the last year. See you in the new year.

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Posted in learning, self development, self improvement, self-awareness

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Why You Suck at Delegating

Posted on December 22, 2010 | Leave a comment

Delegating is a skill that outstanding managers are good at. It’s a skill that can be developed. What do you delegate, and are you doing it right?

Remember, there are few things more annoying that being asked to do something, and five minutes later being asked if you did it.

Why I Suck at Delegating (and Why You Might Too) from Kent Fenwick at Kent’s Posterous

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Posted in delegating, influencing, leadership

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Dear Santa: What Junior Leaders Want for Christmas

Posted on December 21, 2010 | Leave a comment

From Dan McCarthy at the Great Leadership Blog – made me laugh out loud!

Dear Company Leadership, I have been a good manager . . .

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Posted in developing staff, engagement, influencing, leadership, mentorship, motivating

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