How to Give Positive Feedback

A couple of days ago I had a guest post here arguing that employees want and need feedback, a point of view with which I very much agree. I’d written a guest post for him, describing how to give feedback to your boss.

There was a lively discussion that followed these two posts. People want feedback at work, and many that I’ve talked to agree that it’s usually done badly. In my last post I talked about when to give feedback (often, mostly positive). Today I want to talk about how to give positive feedback.

All feedback is regular, frequent, short, sincere, specific, future oriented, and in private. But instead of talking about what it is, let’s work with an example:

“Hey Karl – can I share something with you? Thanks for putting your laptop away during the last staff meeting. When you do that it helps make the meeting go faster. Keep it up.”

Now let’s break it down.

First, we asked Karl for his permission to give him feedback. The really important part is that we actually mean it. We wait for an answer, and if Karl says no, or if Karl says anything other than yes, then we move on. Maybe Karl’s having a bad day and isn’t really receptive to our management shenanigans today. Maybe he’s late for his next meeting. Whatever the reason, we respect his answer. He’ll likely circle around later and ask us what was going on, either when he’s collected himself or not in a rush. That’s OK.

Feedback is so often badly done, or done only when corrective feedback is being given, that many people are hyper-sensitive to phrases such as “Can we talk?”, or “Can I share something with you?”, or “Can I give you some feedback?” If you want to see what somebody looks like when they’re really freaked out, try out the “Could you step into my office?” line. Your goal is to desensitize people. That’s why it’s important to start with positive feedback, with your best performers, and within their comfort zones.

There are several reasons to start with your best performers. Mostly it’s easier to find specific and sincere positive things to say to your best performers. Since you’re practising a new skill, start with the easy ones. this will also make it easier to get started. If you start by giving corrective feedback to the staff member that you really just want to fire, then you’re much more likely to put it off. You’re starting a new habit of giving feedback on a regular and consistent basis and starting with the easy ones makes it more likely you’ll succeed. Plus, your best performers deserve it. They’re your best performers after all!

Secondly, the feedback was specific. We not only described the specific behaviour we saw (“Thanks for putting your laptop away.”), I also described they consequences of that behaviour (“When you do that . . . “) and what you expect in the future (“. . . keep it up.”). We could have just said “Thanks for putting your laptop away.”, but it would have had much less impact. Karl wouldn’t have known why what he did was important. The statement might have even been perceived as sarcastic. Exactly the opposite of what you intended!

Third, all good feedback and performance review focus on the future. Reinforce the behaviour you want to see more of. Focusing on the future becomes even more important when you start giving corrective feedback. More on that later.

Lastly, do it in private. I don’t mean step-into-my-office-and close-the-door-behind-you private. I mean don’t single people out in front of their peers kind of private. A quick, quiet work in the hallway is good enough. We often give praise and awards out in a grand ceremony with cake and all, but many people are uncomfortable with that kind of recognition. Keep it low-key and casual. This style also makes it faster and easier to do more often.

To summarize: step 1) ask and wait for permission 2) describe the specific behaviour and the consequences of that behaviour 3) focus on the future, and 4) do it in private

How often? Once a day, at least. More if you can handle it, but once a day to start with. Spent about six weeks practising giving positive feedback and watch the results.

Don’t give corrective feedback yet. Remember that your aim here is to built up confidence, build a positive environment, and build a relationship. Only then will corrective feedback be effective. Earlier than that and you risk undermining what you’re trying to do.